https://www.film-shorts.tv/wpress.cfonseca160/blog/2023/01/29/therapeutic-strategies/
rhetorical questions: kernels of wisdom 1-29-2023 post
Friends,
Today, I want to share some sublimated contemplation with you. Kernels of truth (golden-nuggets).

Rhetorical question:

1. “How far down, do you have to drag your brother down, who’s trying to help you, before you start to feel better about your own life?” Sometimes, we choose to walk with someone, for their sake. Then, we find that a dagger is in our back. Right? What to do about it? Well, let’s think about this strategically. Some may say, “abandon ship” and “return to harbor”. I like that solution. Very practical; and wise.

In Germany there’s a term for this (generality) phenomena. It’s a variation and aspect to my rhetorical question. The term is: Schaden-Freude. (Literal translation is: joy-derived-from-the sad/unfortunate).
How this term is used in Germany (or was), I don’t know. It was rarely used in my family. But, I think that there have been times where I’ve felt a little bit better about my own life’s challenges, when I compared them to the far greater challenge that someone else, whom I know (or heard about), is or was going through. How about the challenge and mission of Jesus Christ? That’s surely qualified to illustrate point. This is why a lot of times, I get some therapy by watching news. The bad news, helps me to be gracious (thankful) to God for the ways in which he blesses me – absent of what has happened worse to another. Often times, my blessings surpass the misfortune of others. This is not to be confused with selfishness, nor with lack of sincere empathy for another, nor with sadist gratification (nor with “sociopath” self-adoration, as some rightly describe the phenomena in America).
How you feel, is often relative to someone else’s misfortune. Be honest. When you hear about someone else getting fired, you think about how lucky you are that you still have your job – right? But, knowing about other’s bad news (ie. on news reports) is also required for a society to function and progress, in so far as being emotionally connected to what is effecting others in community. If you never watch bad news, then you are hiding from it, and neglecting realities that we face. So, there’s no place for criticism of people (like me) who enjoy watching news and being informed. One reason: to feel better about one’s own life. That’s better than dragging a friend down with you, no? Especially, when it prompt desire and ability to problem solve. Now, if those solutions are rejected, lesson not learned, then there’s no point in suggesting solutions to other.

I like to stay away from people who do not share my personal joys and achievements, or who exhibit jealousy/envy/covetous thinking. If they would rather tear me down “to their level”, then I don’t appreciate their companionship. How about you?

2. Rhetorical question: “Why do people in USA habitually exhibit an unwillingness to rest on the fact that other people disagree with them?” Rephrased: “Why can people not rest on the fact that others make differing choices for themselves, that are suitable for them; instead of trying to mandate that others make the same choice as them?”

Do you agree with me that “one size does not fit all?” Friends, I’m convinced that cowards cause the biggest pains (individually and also for the society). They are uncomfortable with variety of opinions existing and being practiced in action, within a societal echo-system. They insist that everyone else must adopt their own choice(s), strategy, opinion(s), belief(s). “Hammering”/indoctrinating/brainwashing, are methods that I reject. How about you? While there are “best ways” for a challenge to be faced, and while there are certain, many, singular solutions to every problem, forcing of methods upon all people, never changes hearts and minds with any sincere loyalty and sincere practice. Hearts and minds, change over time and through experience, and willingness to alter opinion. Obedience comes from faithfulness, after realizing a failure. You cannot, for example, force a three year old child to like coffee. By certain age, “everyone” comes to like coffee – so give up forcing the issue! Today, people who are “pushers”, should be seen as cowards and as insecure – they really are. Encourage people around you, to speak their own opinion, without trying to fit in with a prevailing attitude. In an executive meeting, the boss does not respect the majority of his board-members being silent. He/She wants to hear diversity of opinion. President Trump was like that. How many people spoke up with good ideas at his round-table discussions? I don’t know. Challenge and think about the best approach(es), to solving a day’s problem. Admit, when you don’t have a solution that works. That’s the problem in today’s politics: People sticking to dumb solutions. That comes from a place of defiance and pride.

3. Rhetorical question: “Why do people provoke others to express their mind’s viewpoint?”

Similar, and related to question 2., most people are cowardly. Most people would rather take a step back, to allow the brave to be pushed forward (though he/she never moved a step forward or volunteered). Why do some people provoke others? Similarly, they themselves might not know what to say or to do, in the eyes of observation, unless they have a “foil”, an “anti-hero”, a distinction, a comparison. Without provoking another person, he/she finds too much displeasure in silence; and finds it boring. How sad. But, conversely, there is also sometimes a justification for provoking another person to speak.

Another reason that some people provoke, is because they want to “pick a person’s brain”. It’s curiosity. Or, means of trying to derive attention or learn surreptitiously. Or, it is a method of trying to involve someone in your life, who doesn’t really care to be involved with your petty preoccupations. If you flick that person’s ear enough times, maybe they’ll give you their lunch money? But, wouldn’t you rather earn your own keep? You ought. And above all, don’t withhold from someone, what they earned and deserve, for your own.

Sometimes, people who provoke (or go searching for a foil) are lonely. They might depend on hearsay (or rumor) to hone in on someone. They might be looking for a friend. But, be careful not to search for unrequited love – especially not through the use of bullying, persecution, or provocation. A lot of wives do this to their husband.

4. I was given this wisdom, from God, on 1-16-2023:

“Women often prefer that a man alter his reality, so that it will conform with (or maintain) her story/rumor; while a man usually prefer that a woman will alter her story/rumor to conform with (or to maintain) his reality.”

Friends, men and women do things differently. Men and women think differently. The best couples (ones who experience most success together) recognize their complimentary nature – by discussing the day’s events and perceptions. We talk, but we also remember to listen when we should listen. Don’t stuff a man’s thoughts with garbage. Let him speak it all out. Let him finish, before you arouse more conversation. Both, need to come to agreeing that their perceptions are conforming to a reality that both can accept. Some might criticize, and say “good luck with that”, as though it were impossible. I say, keep trying.

You may criticize and ask, “How does he know this?” Friends, I’ve had a son relationship and grandson relationship, that had been much like being devotedly married for more than 35 years. In that time, I’ve done more listening than speaking. The moments that I can speak, I do it. I know what it’s like to lose a “wife” to death. I also know what “divorce” feels like; and how it can occur. I also know what infidelity of the heart, does to relationships. I impart to you, these “golden-nuggets”. With these suggestions, you can (like me), see the world as it is (the pathetic nature of most human beings). And you can partner with me, in allying yourself to your wife or husband, as you should (and as I should).

Don’t make the public, your family. Save things for your wife/husband. Work from the inside outward. If your home has peace, the world will also.